Instructions to wives and to husbands

^{Ephesians 5:22-33 (ESV)
22} Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, ²⁶ that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, ²⁷ so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. ²⁸ In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, ³⁰ because we are members of his body. ³¹“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” ³² This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. ³³ However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

One of the things I mentioned in my introductory post was that we knew some couples having marriage trouble. It is very disconcerting to see friends that you love having so much trouble. Especially when there are children involved. I usually feel pretty helpless. I want to help, but I don't know how. I can be a friend, but I am no counselor. My wife and I have a good marriage, but I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. 

I was thinking a little bit about some of our friends and what they struggle with. I don't mean to put words in anyone's mouth, but it seems that the men think that their wives don't honor or respect them. That their wives are not submissive. It seems, on the other hand, that the wives don't feel like their husbands love them. Like their husbands don't care at all about them. To be honest, I can see how each person might feel the way that they do. Life is hard and poor decisions are made and wrong things are said.

I would like to look at the biblical passage that I shared above. Women are instructed to submit to their husbands, just as the Church submits to Christ. Husbands are told to love their wives just like Christ loves the Church. What does this mean? How does the Church submit to Christ? How does Christ love the Church? I'm not sure what the answers are to these questions. 

Here are a few things that I am pretty sure of. Jesus extends grace and mercy to us, even in our failures to submit to Him. That's pretty amazing, since He doesn't owe us anything to begin with. Any compassion He shows us is undeserved. Even being given the chance to submit to Him is a chance that we did not earn.

Something else. I don't see, in the passage above, anything telling husbands that they should tell their wives that they are being unsubmissive.  I hear of men who, in anger, tell their wives how unsubmissive and dishonoring they are acting. The passage above calls men to love their wives, not call them on their "bad behavior".  Neither is a wife instructed to tell her husband how unloving he is. She is instructed to submit to him. 
I realize that I am barely scratching the surface of this topic, and I in no way want to sound like I am simplifying this in any way. I know that some situations are vary difficult and that every relationship has it's own hardships. I want to end, though, with this thought. Man, if you love your wife, she will naturally want to submit to you. You don't need to convince her how right you are about such and such a decision. You don't need to shame her into honoring you like the Bible says she should.  And, in case you haven't noticed, brow beating her doesn't gain you any respect. Love your wife and then maybe some natural benefits will result. Love her like Christ has loved you. I think that means sacrificially and with grace, mercy and compassion.

Bob Dylan titled my blog...sort of.

Matthew 6:26 - Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?

Hebrews 11:11-13 - 11 By faith Sarah herself received power to conceive, even when she was past the age, since she considered him faithful who had promised. 12 Therefore from one man, and him as good as dead, were born descendants as many as the stars of heaven and as many as the innumerable grains of sand by the seashore. 13 These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth.

Matthew 10:29 - Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father.

Luke 12:7 - Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.

Good day.
I thought some people might wonder where "The Fury of the Moment" comes from. I borrowed it from a Bob Dylan song called "Every grain of sand". Here are the lyrics, but I suggest that you hear the song. It is very moving.

Every Grain of Sand

In the time of my confession, in the hour of my deepest need
When the pool of tears beneath my feet flood every newborn seed
There’s a dyin’ voice within me reaching out somewhere
Toiling in the danger and in the morals of despair
Don’t have the inclination to look back on any mistake
Like Cain, I now behold this chain of events that I must break
In the fury of the moment I can see the Master’s hand
In every leaf that trembles, in every grain of sand
Oh, the flowers of indulgence and the weeds of yesteryear
Like criminals, they have choked the breath of conscience and good cheer
The sun beat down upon the steps of time to light the way
To ease the pain of idleness and the memory of decay
I gaze into the doorway of temptation’s angry flame
And every time I pass that way I always hear my name
Then onward in my journey I come to understand
That every hair is numbered like every grain of sand
I have gone from rags to riches in the sorrow of the night
In the violence of a summer’s dream, in the chill of a wintry light
In the bitter dance of loneliness fading into space
In the broken mirror of innocence on each forgotten face
I hear the ancient footsteps like the motion of the sea
Sometimes I turn, there’s someone there, other times it’s only me
I am hanging in the balance of the reality of man
Like every sparrow falling, like every grain of sand

Copyright © 1981 by Special Rider Music 

Choices or none.

You are now in The Fury of the Moment... I feel like this is where I have been lately. I actually have not been there lately, but I know that I will be at some point(s) soon. Probably several times for various reasons. Some bigger than others. In some of them I will have choices to make and in some the choices will be made for me. I would like to use this blog space to journal a little bit about what my family and I have been doing, going through and dealing with (or failing to deal with) over the last several months. Two couples that we know and love are having marriage trouble, our church closed, we are looking for a new church, I started a full-time job, one of our good friends has cancer for the second time, I had to make a major financial decision, I still need to make a major financial decision, my first born son recently became a man, my basement has been unusable for four years, our car is falling apart, I need to tell someone the truth about something, I don't want to tell that person the truth because it's a hard truth, we found a church that we like but it's 45 minutes drive each way, my parents are getting older, I live on the opposite side of the country as my parents...and my sister and her family. I miss them. There may be more to talk about than that, but each of those things weighs on me. At some point, I will be in the fury of each of these moments. I will need to make some decisions. Life is hard. Sometimes I won't get to decide anything. Welcome to my blog. Thanks for joining me in The Fury of the Moment.